


Fix You

by GotBanX



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Doctor/Patient, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Hospital AU, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Nurse Hyunwoo, Nurse Kihyun, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Patient Wonho, Psychologist Hyungwon, Will get smut eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-15 23:42:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7243567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotBanX/pseuds/GotBanX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shin Hoseok has been admitted into a Mental Hospital after an accident he caused. There he meets the most amazing two nurses Hyunwoo and Kihyun who take him under their care immediately. He also meets the most beautiful Psychologist who has a very effective way in convincing Hoseok to trust him and speak to him. Adding Hoseok's old friends Minhyuk, Jooheon and Changkyun, the Mental Hospital turns into a paradise for the young patient. </p><p>OR</p><p>Hoseok is broken. Hyunwon wants to fix him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What am I doing? I already have an ongoing fic which is in desperate need of my attention! I guess my thirst for Hyunwonho is too big. Before you start reading this fic, it will contain some mentions of mental health issues, possible triggers from the past such as abuse (not sexual or physical however) and maybe even self harm/self hate. Please stay away RIGHT NOW in case this may harm you mentally or open some wounds for you. Make sure you are in a safe mental place before you read this in case these things might trigger something in you. There are no triggers in this chapter. I will put in the notes when something that might cause mental harm appears in a chapter.  
> Other than that..enjoy.

Hoseok lay down silently on that same cold bed. It been two days already and he had not opened his mouth, not even once did he speak to anyone around him. He knows it was wrong, that is what got him there in the first place. However, Hoseok finds it difficult, _very difficult_ , to trust people. He does not even speak to his own parents about himself; imagine how he would speak to a stranger about his problems. The staff at this hospital where nice, especially two young nurses, Kihyun and Hyunwoo, who, as soon as they noticed that Hoseok was averagely their age, they took it up to them to take care of him and help him get better. However, the rest of patients were not! They young boy shared a room with four other males, who where all older than him, and more that once he heard them say about how selfish he was being for not talking to anyone.

“Lunch Hoseok-hyung,” the familiar voice broke him from his no-thinking state of mind, almost forcing him to look at him. Of course, it was Kihyun, the short cute boy who could kill you in an instant. Hoseok got scared as soon as he saw him glare to one of the males sharing his bed. He knew he did not want to get on his bad side right away.  
Hoseok sat up and the young nurse placed the tray on his table, leaning towards Hoseok’s ear in order to whisper, “It’s McDonalds with extra fries. I’ll close the curtains so no one will notice that though.” Hoseok just had to smile. Both he and Kihyun knew how terrible the hospital’s food was so the younger took it up to him that when he could, he‘d get the patient good food from outside. Hoseok tried to repay him once, but then he remembered that patients in Mental Hospitals where not allowed to be in possession of any money. He believed that the least he could do was actually answer back the nurse, however, he found in difficult to even spill out a simple ‘thank you’. So instead, he just smiled softly, with a broken look in his eyes and nodded. He knew that he could not fool anyone with his smile, they all knew that he was not happy, but it was his was to show that he appreciated.

Kihyun drew the curtain, sat down on the chair next to Hoseok’s bed, and took the information sheet. Hoseok opened the tray, to be greeted with that greasy aroma which he loved during summer holidays. If he were not locked in there, he would be spending this free time at the beach with his friend Minhyuk eating any shitty take away they could find. They would leave the house at eight in the morning and not return until it was way past one the following day. Sometimes they even slept in Hoseok’s car. Not, Hoseok does not have a car anymore, because he broke it while running into a lap post on purpose.

Kihyun was writing something on the information sheet, the older patient tried to read it sometimes, but there were too many technical words for him to understand. Hoseok just helped himself with a mouthful of fries. He loved it...at that moment he even loved Kihyun. If only he where able to bring himself to trust the younger a bit more, he would be able to spill everything to him, damn he might even cry in front of him. However, then he remembered, so he stopped.

  
“Today a psychologist will come in the afternoon,” Kihyun could already feel Hoseok’s eyes throwing daggers at him, “do not worry though. He is still young, like us. He is very nice and would not force you to speak or anything.” The patient’s gaze did not soften by that, so Kihyun just smiled and got up from the chair, putting the clipboard back by Hoseok’s bed, “it will be fine, don’t worry hyung,” he said tapping Hoseok’s shoulder gently before shifting the curtain and getting out. Hoseok almost lost his appetite, but he would not give up a double burger for some stupid psychologist.  

It was three in the afternoon when Hoseok saw a stranger enter their room and scan around the four patients. He looked at the number on his card and then at Hoseok’s bed, and with a smile, he approached the bed.  
“Hello, you are Shin Hoseok right?” the male asked. He was tall, taller than Hoseok and much taller that his nurse Kihyun. The patient did not reply, but with the silence around the room, the man figured out that he was right. He drew the curtains and sat down on the chair.  
“Hello, my name is Chae Hyungwon, I will be your psychiatrist while you’re in here Hoseok-hyung,” the tall male was smiling brightly, and it was somehow making the patient feel slightly dimmed. “I am twenty five years old, recent graduate and I’m still in my three year training before I get my warrant in order to operate outside of the hospital. I live in a shabby apartment three streets down for here, and the main reason for that is that I am lazy. I guess my hobbies are sleeping, dancing and sometimes I sing too.” Hoseok looked at this psychiatrist confused as to why this male was talking about himself instead of asking the older questions.  
“Do you want to tell me something about you Hoseok-hyung?” Hyungwon asked. Hoseok shifted his gaze from the psychiatrist towards his lap, avoiding eye contact at all costs.  
“Not yet? Okay, I will tell you something more about me then. Before I joined college to become a psychiatrist I was contemplating whether to join an entertainment company because people said that I am a good dancer. But then I figured that actually getting a degree and a job was more secure for my future so now I just dance in front of little kids who I visit in this hospital.”

The psychologist kept talking and telling Hoseok about himself for full ten minutes before he looked at the time. “I guess that is it for me today Hoseok-hyung.” He opened his clip file and pulled out a paper, “this is sort of a questionnaire about you for me to get to know a little about you Hoseok-hyung. You do not have to fill it now, and you do not have to fill it all. Just fill in what you are comfortable with, whenever you feel like it. I will not rush you to it,” he said, and he placed the paper on the cupboard next to his bed.  
The tall male got up from the chair while closing his file, “I have an appointment with you for every other day at this time. If you prefer to change it to a different time, or perhaps a different place, somewhere that would be more comfortable for you, just tell either Kihyun or Hyunwoo-hyung since they are your nurses. Bye Hoseok-hyung.”  
“I-“ Hoseok muttered, and as soon as he say Hyungwon turn around quickly to look at him, he regretted opening his mouth. However, now the psychiatrist was waiting for him to speak. “I am Shin Hoseok,” he said, confirming what the psychiatrist had asked in the beginning of the session. He felt stupid for saying something like that, something that to him was too obvious.

  
However, Hyungwon smiled brightly, “oh thank god. At least I haven’t been spilling my life story to someone who is not my patient,” he said with a chuckle, “see you in two days Hoseok-hyung,” the male said and he left from behind the curtains.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It starts with Hoseok having a dream which comes from his past. No trigger warnings over here. More like suddenly everyone has a think for the patient. There are Hoseok/Minhyuk moments here...quite a few of them.

_He kept pressing the gas pedal, feeling the car gain speed quickly. Even though he knew that the collision was soon, he did not change his mind. He saw darkness around him, outside of the car window it seemed like the world had stopped. That is what Hoseok wanted. He wanted everything to stop. Therefore, with his target in sight, he pushed down the gas pedal even more, until a long grey tube of steel was all that was seen from the windscreen._

He jolted up in his bed, his eyes wide open, breathing deeply and feeling beads of sweat drop down from his forehead. That scene did not scare Hoseok when he was in it. However, now that he was dreaming about it, remembering all the details scared him. He lay back down on the bed. It was still dark in the room but the young patient knew that he would not be able to sleep again.

Minhyuk had visited him every day ever since he was admitted, however, Hoseok always pretended to be asleep. He just could not face his friend like that. Minhyuk had always seen the bright side of the older male, and now that he was broken, Hoseok could not bear to show himself in that state. However, for three days, Minhyuk kept showing up.   
Kihyun knew that he was pretending, but he also knew how difficult it was for the patient to accustom, so he kept the secret to himself. He did not even talk to Hoseok about it.

“He’s asleep,” Kihyun, said when Minhyuk showed up at the hospital. Even though he knew, that Hoseok was most probably awake.   
Minhyuk smiled at him, “it’s okay, I’ll just wait for him to wake up,” he said and walked into Hoseok’s room. He drew the curtains right away, because he did not really like the people Hoseok was sharing the room with. They were too nosy according to the platinum-haired. He pulled the chair in order to be facing Hoseok’s bed and sat down. He reached out for his friend’s hand, held it tightly in his, and decided to remain quiet for a few.   
“Hoseok,” he called, leaning his head on the bed and trying to lean closer, “please Hoseok talk to me,” he said, sounding desperate. He got up from the chair and sat on the bed in order to be able to see Hoseok’s face better.   
“Hyung, I know you’re awake. Please stop pretending,” Minhyuk’s breath was ghosting over Hoseok’s cheeks and within a second, Minhyuk had his lips onto Hoseok, kissing him in hope that the blond would react. However, the older did not. Minhyuk pulled away, before kissing him once again, this time pressing harder. “Hyung please,” Minhyuk begged, his lips still touching Hoseok’s skin, “just talk to me.” A tear fell down the younger’s eye as he almost climbed onto Hoseok, still pushing his lips onto the elder’s.

This time, Hoseok kissed him back, putting his arm around Minhyuk’s neck lazily. He pulled away almost immediately.   
“Why are you here Minhyuk?” he asked him, leaning his head to the side, avoiding to look at his friend.   
“Because,” he said, sounding offended, “you are my friend. I do not care if you are parachute jumping or rotting in a cellar, I will always be there for you. Look at me Hoseok,” he said trying to catch the other’s eyes, “I will never abandon you. You are important to me, and like how you helped me, I will help you.”   
Hoseok turned his head to look at Minhyuk with a sigh. “I will always be here for you Hoseok, I promise,” the younger said, once again kissing Hoseok, who accepted the kiss right away.

The curtain was pushed open and before the two could even react, they heard Kihyun, “oh god. Sorry, I am sorry. I did not mean to interrupt you.” Both Hoseok and Minhyuk barely managed to see the figure before he closed the curtain just as quickly as he had opened it.   
“I hope he won’t get the wrong idea or something,” Hoseok said. After all, he was kissing a male who was practically lying down on top of him. Those who did not know their story will obviously think that there was something going on between the two males.   
“I’ll talk to him before leaving,” Minhyuk reassured him, “and don’t worry. I will not tell him about you.”

Minhyuk leaned his head on Hoseok’s chest, constantly talking about what was happening on the outside, to their friends and other people which Hoseok only considered as strangers.   
“You know Jooheon is going out with that girl who lives next to him right? He told you about that,” Minhyuk did not await a reply, “apparently she wanted to have sex with him but the kid got scared and refused.” Hoseok smiled. People who only saw his younger friend would think that he was scary or rude; however, they knew that Jooheon was just a ball of fluff who would get scared of an ant.

After Minhyuk had updated him on all the news, he got up from Hoseok’s chest, “I should go. It’s almost your lunch time and my mum was supposed to come pick me up ten minutes ago,” he said, jumping off the bed. He pecked Hoseok’s lips, “I will be back tomorrow. I promise,” and with those words, Minhyuk left behind the curtains.

Outside, he almost bumped into Kihyun who was helping the carers give out food. As soon as the shorted saw the blond, his ears went red.   
“Can I talk to you for a moment please?” asked Minhyuk, looking around them, hoping that the nurse would get the hint that he preferred to be alone.   
“Sure,” Kihyun replied, he placed the tray down on the shelf and walked Minhyuk to the nurses break room. “Listen, I will not say anything if that’s what you want to talk about,” Kihyun said as soon as he closed the door.   
Minhyuk laughed, making the shorter one confused, “there is nothing to tell. Me and Hoseok are not together.”   
“You where just making out!”   
“We were not making out. It was a simple kiss. We do that quite often actually. We’ve been doing it since a few months back, but there is no real relationship between us,” Minhyuk said, making the younger even more confused.   
“Are you sex friends?” Kihyun asked in a hushed voice. Of course, it was not something that Kihyun ever encountered but he had heard of it before.   
Minhyuk shrugged, “we are best friends first and foremost. It is just that we went through a lot together, and it is our way to find comfort. We find that the warmth from each other is comforting for both of us. But that’s all it is.”   
“Sounds like you’re into each other for me,” said Kihyun. “I did go through some things too, but never once did I kiss my friends or had sex with them!”   
“Trust me, there is nothing between us. I started it, when one of my exes broke me to pieces. Hoseok was there to put me back together but I wanted something deeper. I needed something else aside from just talking. Hoseok gave me that without any other trouble. Now we still go to each other since neither of us found the person who is willing to give their all to us. Someday, when we find that person, I swear kissing each other would not be our priority.”   
Kihyun nodded. Even though he understood nothing. Still, he liked how people had their ways of doing things. It was what got him to work with people after all.   
Minhyuk smirked at him, “so you can keep on dreaming about your crush on Hoseok all you want. I’m not going to be a problem.”  
Kihyun blushed at the elder’s words, “I do not have a crush on Hoseok hyung!” he said, almost shouting until he remembered that his words could be heard from outside.

Minhyuk smiled wider and reached out for the doorknob, “everyone has a crush on Hoseok, especially the first time they see him,” and after he said that, he left the room, leaving a very flustered Kihyun behind.

**

“Do you have a crush on Hoseok hyung?”  
Hyunwoo almost choked in his sandwich at the words of the younger, “what?!”   
Kihyun took a deep breath, trying hard not to blush, “do you have a crush on our patient?”   
Hyunwoo looked at his junior really confused, “what makes you think that? Did I do something that seems so?”   
“No,” the younger said quickly, “but his friend Minhyuk was here today and he told me that everyone has a crush on Hoseok-hyung, especially when they first see him.”   
“I’m not going to say that he is not attractive, however, he is not my type so I do not have a crush on our patient. Why? Do you?” Hyunwoo asked. He did not take this conversation seriously, at least not as serious as Kihyun was taking it.   
“I don’t know,” the younger admitted, “I do find him attractive though, very attractive.”

“Who is attractive?” a familiar voice forced the two nurses to look at the door. Hyungwon was standing there with a plastic cup and his same black clip file. He pulled a chair and sat down next to the young nurses. He did find it comfortable speaking to them since they were averagely the same ages.

“Do you have a crush on Hoseok hyung?” Kihyun made him the same question. The tall male almost spit out his coffee.   
“You mean your patient?” he asked, wiping the droll that had managed to slip from between his lips.  Kihyun nodded. The tall psychologist felt his cheeks heat up. “I cannot talk about my patient that way Kihyun. For me he is a patient and nothing more,” he replied.   
“Oh come on Hyungwon,” Kihyun said with a groan, “he is a patient for me too, but he is still good looking,” the shorter argued.   
Hyungwon fidgeted with his cup before looking up at Kihyun, “well he is attractive,” he said softly, almost shyly.   
“Is he your type?” Kihyun asked, suddenly getting a lot interested in the psychologist in front of him.   
“Yes, very!” he admitted right away. He noticed how both Hyunwoo and Kihyun where looking at him, with a slick smile, almost making him feel dirty for finding a person attractive. He got up quickly, “anyway, he is just my patient however, regardless of how god damn handsome he is. And now I have to go face him, so please stop looking at me like that.” He threw the plastic cup away and went on to Hoseok’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not worry. This is neither a Hoseok/Minhyuk fic and neither it is a Kihyun/Hoseok fic. Hoseok's and Minhyuk's relationship will be explained deeper later on...and it might even get into more details, but that will be it. Kihyun will not have his chance with Hoseok (because of Hyungwon and Changkyun mostly). But I just love adding more fuel to the fire! But do not worry my Hyungwonho/Showki friends....no one will steal your ships away in this fic haha :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of suicide desires.

Hoseok sat quietly on his bed while Hyungwon was telling him a story about how when he was seven years old he broke his new bike and when he went inside to tell his parents about it, he tripped and broke the TV screen as well. The smile on Hoseok’s face was impossible to miss; however, it Hyungwon was the only one blessed to see it. Hoseok did not know what it was, however, whenever Hyungwon was around he felt better. Still, he could not find it in himself to trust the young psychologist and talk about himself. Hyungwon looked at his watch and the smile from Hoseok’s face disappeared.  
“Time’s up for me today Hoseok-hyung,” he picked up the same black file from the floor where he left it and got up from the chair, “I will see you in two days,” he said smiling at the patient. Hyungwon looked over at the paper, which was still in the same position where he had left it averagely a week before. Hoseok did not miss the look of disappointment in his eyes when he saw that it was still empty.  
“You said I did not have to rush to answer it.”  
Hyungwon looked at him surprised and then smiled, “of course you don’t. I was just checking to see if you filled anything. Take your time with it. Bye Hoseok-hyung,” he said and he vanished from behind the curtain.

Hoseok sighed as the silence filled his ears. He loved listening to stories from the psychologist. Hyungwon made him change his perspective about psychologists and their crazy methods. He reached out for the paper on the cabinet and scanned through it. There was nothing too personal; however, one particular question picked his attention.  
_‘If the world where to end tomorrow, who would you, spend your last day with?’_

Thinking about that question, Hoseok suddenly got sad. Because even though an amount of people came in his head, he was sure that no one would have picked him to spend their last day with. And Hoseok suddenly felt lonely.

However, he did not remain alone for a long time, because he had barely managed to put the paper on the cabinet again that the curtain was flung open.  
“Hoseok,” a loud sound came accompanied by a deep hug.  
“Minhyuk!” Hoseok said surprised. The blond had been coming to the hospital every day but his entrance still surprised the patient.  
“How are you?” Minhyuk asked, climbing up on Hoseok’s bed and scooting the older aside. Hoseok shrugged and Minhyuk managed to get it while he was shifting in the bed in order to make Hoseok rest his head on his chest. He began his daily story time, telling Hoseok everything that happened during the day. Hoseok knew that Minhyuk exaggerated a few of those things; however, he still loved listening to him.

Kihyun entered from behind the curtain, by then, he got used to the two guys so he did not even look surprised at finding the two in such position.  
“Lunch will be coming soon, Hoseok-hyung,” the nurse informed and then left once more.

“Your nurse is hot,” said Minhyuk as soon as Kihyun left.  
“Who, Kihyun?”  
Minhyuk rolled his eyes even though Hoseok could not see him. “I said hot not cute.”  
“Kihyun’s not cute. He’ll kill you with his glare,” Hoseok informed, shifting so that he could look at his friend.  
Minhyuk sighed, “Fine. Hot not deadly. I’m talking about your other nurse.”  
“Hyunwoo? When did you see Hyunwoo? He comes here in the afternoon.”    
“He’s here early today,” Minhyuk, informed, “Because they were outside talking about you just now.”  
“About me?” Hoseok asked, sitting up very quickly and looking at Minhyuk seeming very interested about the situation.  
Minhyuk nodded, “with some freakishly tall and freakishly handsome guy.”  
Hoseok frowned at that description, even though it was not something he could work with, it was a description, which he would give to only one person of the staff. “Was he carrying a black file?”  
“Yes. Do you know him?”  
Hoseok nodded, “he’s my psychologist.”  
Minhyuk’s eyes widened, “wow. Your psychologist is gorgeous.”  
Hoseok laughed, even though he never said anything, he could admit that the male truly was good looking. “I thought you liked my nurse.”  
“Of course I do. However, I do have eyes and I use them. That psychologist would make me spill everything about me. No wonder that you talk to him.”  
Hoseok frowned again, “how do you know I talk to him?”  
“That’s what they were saying. That you are making progress with him.”

Hoseok gone quiet again. It was true; he was finding it more and more comfortable each time to talk to Hyungwon. There was something about him, which made the patient feel warm inside, even though he was not yet ready to trust him.

The curtains where opened once more and this time it was Hyunwoo who entered. Unlike Kihyun, the older was not used to seeing his patient in such a comfortable position with someone therefore; he did look quite surprised at the two of them. However, Kihyun had told him about it before so he decided to not bother about it. He had a tray in his hand and placed it on Hoseok’s table.  
“Lunch,” he said, giving the patient a week smile and by that Hoseok knew that he was once again blessed with something greasy from outside the hospital. “Make sure to keep the curtains closed while eating though,” the nurse said in a hushed tone. He did not stay there for any extra time and left quietly.

“The lord is testing me,” Minhyuk said which caused Hoseok to laugh at him.  
“I can pass a word if you want to?” the patient suggested, looking at his food with a desire. He did not mind that Minhyuk was there, and immediately began devouring his lunch.  
“Nah. He is not the one-night-fuck type of hot. More like boyfriend type of hot and I do not have time for that,” he said stealing a fry from Hoseok who quickly glared at him for that.  
“You’re just scared,” Hoseok said, before quickly taking another bite.  
Minhyuk leaned closer to him, his lips touching Hoseok’s ears, “let’s make a deal. I will ask your hot nurse out when you tell your gorgeous psychologist about us.” He got up from bed, pecking Hoseok’s lips and leaving from behind the curtain.

 _Minhyuk was high. There was no doubt in that. Hoseok wanted to be like that as well. Jooheon was currently trying to hide his embarrassment from his cute-looking neighbour who just keeps hinting that she likes him. Changkyun left them early that night since he had work the day after. The two blonds had booked a room since none of them managed to drive and somehow they succeeded in getting to the room and unlock it. Both Hoseok and Minhyuk dropped in the same bed._  
_“I fucking hate him Hoseok, I hate everyone,” the younger cried out. He wished he could cry, but his hard head was forcing him not to._  
_“Even me?” Hoseok asked. He blamed the sadness on the alcohol even though he knew that it was not that. It was much more than just alcohol in his brain. Hoseok had been contemplating suicide for a long time and the alcohol was only making it seem more achievable.  
_“No. Not you. I love you,” Minhyuk said, turning on his side to face the older. If only Minhyuk was sober, he would see and realize the pain in Hoseok’s eyes. He would notice a lot about his friend. However, he did not.__

_Minhyuk climbed on top of Hoseok, his knees on each side of Hoseok’s waist and he ran his hands up and down Hoseok’s clothed chest. “I fucking love you,” Minhyuk mumbled while he was leaning down and placed his lips on Hoseok’s neck. He left a soft kiss at first, and then he licked before looking up at Hoseok. If any of them were sober, their surprised reaction would have been much stronger. Since it was not, Minhyuk went ahead and pressed his mouth on Hoseok’s and without any force; he introduced his tongue in his friend’s mouth. Hoseok complied, kissing him back with just as much hunger and longing. His hands began moving and exploring his friend’s body. He was drunk, they both were, and neither showed any signs of stopping._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am already working on the next chapter so it might not take long for me to update. I hope you enjoy this and feel free to comment bellow. If you liked it, please do not forget to leave kudos. Thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonho is remembering details and moments about his past which somehow got him to this point in the story. He keeps opening more and more the Hyungwon but it is still not good enough. Also, the begining of Changkyun and Kihyun...which is not a romantic start!

“I remember that I cried so hard when I fell that they thought I might get a heart attack or something similar,” Hyungwon said, smiling softly. He had been telling Hoseok about the time he fell and almost broke his feet.

_“Are you a baby?” his father said to him. “You do not have to cry to talk. Babies cry in order to speak. You are a grown up now. Stop your crying.”  
Hoseok was sad. He had turned fifteen a month before and they had changed location because of their father’s work again. However, some people just kept making fun of Hoseok in school and he had been keeping it inside him. Then, he punched a person and the school had reported him to his parents. He was trying to explain to his father but the sadness just took over and a tear fell down his cheek. _

“I cannot cry,” Hoseok said softly. Hyungwon was about to get but as soon as he heard Hoseok speak, he arranged his position and sat comfortably again. Hoseok looked up at him, eyes filled with sadness, “only babies cry.”  
 “Who told you that?” Hyungwon asked him, keeping a soft tone and hoping that Hoseok will keep on talking.  
“My father,” he admitted, “he hates it when someone cries.”  
“Crying is a natural reaction to pain and sadness Hoseok-hyung. Even though we try to suppress it, sometimes tears just fall down without us even noticing. If one is not supposed to cry, why do we have tear glands?”  
Hoseok remained looking at Hyungwon for a few moments before he shrugged and looked down at his hands. “Hyung, whenever you feel like crying, do so. Never hold in your feelings. You should not be ashamed of your feelings. Those are what make you human, what makes you alive. Without feelings, without sadness and pain, you will be nothing different than a stone.”

Hoseok nodded, even though he did not plan to do so, it was as if Hyungwon’s words pulled the string and he could not resist it. Hyungwon put his hand on the patient’s shoulder and gave him a little squeeze before sitting up, “see you in two days hyung.”

 _“I cannot understand what got him like this. He never speaks to us about anything. Moreover, unless that friend of his calls him, he locks himself in his room and does not get out. He’s wasting the best parts of his life,” his father told his grandmother._  
_Hoseok rolled his eyes after making sure that his father was not looking at him. He wanted to reply. He wanted to tell him about all the times he hit Hoseok when he did not agree with what Hoseok said. Hoseok also wanted to tell his father about all the school days he spent locked inside to do his work while hearing other children play outside. He wanted to tell his father about all the times he was forced to sit down in the playground because it was dangerous or all the times his parents told him to shut up because they wanted to listen to the news or watch a football game. He wanted to tell him about all the times his father made fun of him, or judged him, ridiculed him with any simple mistake, causing him to become the shy, introvert person he turned out to be._  
_However, Hoseok said nothing. He just sat there on that old, uncomfortable couch, looking at his hands and trying to ignore his father’s continuous judgment._

Hoseok’s curtains where open and he was playing some stupid game he found on the internet when he spotted from the corner of his eyes two people standing at the door. He looked up, seeing Jooheon and Changkyun standing there.  
“Hyung,” Jooheon said with a half smile, “can we come in?”  
Hoseok put down his phone and nodded, “yes. Come in.”  
The two younger males got in. Jooheon sat on the chair while Changkyun sat down on the bed next to Hoseok.  
“How are you hyung?” Changkyun asked.  
Jooheon rolled his eyes at him, “he’s in hospital Changkyun. How do you think he is?” Hoseok smiled at them. These two where the most unlikely of friends, and the most unlikely of his friends as well. He still could not understand how Jooheon ended up being friends with Minhyuk.

 _“He was rooming with me at that camping thing I went to last week. It was terrible really, but we ended up having rap competitions while the rest were doing prayer meetings or whatever those where,” Minhyuk said waving his arms around._  
_“It was a political camping meeting hyung. No one was praying,” the younger male said._  
 _“I think they were all internally praying to win,” the male next to him said. “Hi, I’m Changkyun. I was supposed to go to that camping too but I faked sick and stayed with my grandmother instead.”_  
 _“You’re freshmen?” Hoseok asked both of them._  
 _“Changkyun is,” Jooheon replied, “I’m second year.”_  
 _“If Jooheon was not there, you would not have seen me here today Hoseok. I would be dead, I swear.” Minhyuk had a way of exaggerating things but Hoseok did not mind that at all. It made everything around them more fun and exciting. Jooheon and Changkyun seemed fun as well so Hoseok asked nothing else and just sat down with them and ate his lunch._

“Is this place filled with old, fat creepy people though?” Changkyun said, frowning at the nurse who had just passed from outside Hoseok’s room. What he did not notice was that before he got it, Kihyun was there tending to the patient next to Hoseok. Kihyun had just gotten close to Hoseok’s bed and he heard what the younger said. He leaned closer to Changkyun from behind him and spoke to him with a smile. A smile, which gave terror, “excuse me?”  
Changkyun jumped and looked behind him. Jooheon bursted out laughing and Hoseok just had to smile. “Well, I’ll cut off old and ugly,” Changkyun, said after he got over the fright. Kihyun frowned at him and walked closer to his patient. “Lunch will be coming soon Hoseok hyung. Do you want meal A or B?”  
Hoseok frowned. Those words meant that he would be getting hospital food that day. Kihyun smiled apologetically and handed him the paper to choose.

“Who is he?” Changkyun asked as soon as he made sure that the nurse was gone.  
Hoseok smiled at him, remembering his jump, “he’s one of my nurses. His name is Kihyun and he can kill you with his glare.”  
The youngest rolled his eyes, “I figured.”  
Jooheon started laughing again and Changkyun decided to ignore him.

The two males continued chatting, telling Hoseok about stuff that had been happening to them. Their story was somewhat different to Minhyuk who had told him everything before, however, Hoseok knew who’s fault that was.

Kihyun entered again this time carrying a tray. Changkyun immediately looked away, trying to avoid making any eye contact with him.  
“Here hyung, I’ll come pick the tray later,” he said, putting it gently on Hoseok’s table. Hoseok gave him a gentle nod. Kihyun caught the youngest looking at him and glared immediately before turning around and exiting the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I am in no way implying that any of this is true. So, I'm not saying that Hoseok's father treated him that way or anything! (I do not even know his father's name!) Just to make things clear haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please feel free to comment below. Do not forget to leave kudos if you liked this. Thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait....Who's married?

Minhyuk entered the room frustrated, huffing deeply. “No one told me you switched rooms,” he shouted causing both males in the room to look at him. Hyungwon looked the blond more puzzled that Hoseok did since he had never seen the other before. Minhyuk had travelled all around the area to see where he could find his friend since Kihyun was nowhere to be seen and none of the other nurses wanted to tell him where Hoseok’s new room was.  
“Sorry. I’ve changed last evening and I had no way to contact anyone.”  
The night before, a doctor visited Hoseok and suggested to give him a room by himself. Kihyun, Hyunwoo and Hyungwon where behind this, telling the doctor that if the male was in a room all by himself, it would be easier for him to speak knowing that none of the other patients where listening. The doctor swallowed that blunt lie and agreed to it. In fact, the truth was that Hoseok was a young adult in a room filled with old people whom he could not stand and he preferred to be alone.

Minhyuk noticed Hoseok was looking between him and the male sitting on the chair next to him and he recognized that it was that _freakishly tall and freakishly handsome_ psychologist Hyungwon. He figured that he interrupted his session so he apologized, “I’ll come back later,” he said leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

“Who is he?” Hyungwon asked bluntly still looking at the door.  
“He is my friend, Minhyuk.”

_Hoseok tried to shift in the bed but his body hurt. In addition, something was making his left arm feel heavy and he could not move it. He groaned and opened his eyes only to spot a sleeping Minhyuk lying down on his bicep. He suddenly remembered the event of the previous night and wondered where this could go. He did not want to make things awkward and he enjoyed Minhyuk’s friendship more than anything. Hoseok preferred if the two had remained friends._

_“Sorry,” Minhyuk said, and he opened his eyes to show the older that he was in fact awake. He sat up to give Hoseok the freedom on his hands and when he did so, the bed sheet fell down from his body, revealing the now-purple marks which Hoseok had left on his neck and chest the night before._  
_“It was not your fault. We where both drunk.” Hoseok tried to brush it off as some drunken night situation in hope that this would not make things difficult between them._  
_“I love you, I truly do,” Minhyuk admitted, “but I don’t want a relationship. I’d rather be friends.”_  
_“Me too,” Hoseok was quick to reply, “I do prefer being friends. Besides, I am not going to dump a relationship on you after what happened with him last night.”_  
_Minhyuk turned on his knees, showing off more of his naked body. Initially Hoseok wanted to avert his sight but then he remembered that he had not only looked, but also touched. “I’m not saying that I hated it,” Minhyuk said honestly, “it was amazing really. However, you are my best friend. If I lose you, I don’t know what I would do.”_  
_Hoseok sat up as well, letting the sheet drop down and show his upper body as well, “I did not hate it either. However, neither of us is in a situation of relationships right now. We would just end up breaking each other. I hate thinking about never speaking to you again.”_

 _Minhyuk smiled at him, “so, we’re still friends right?”_  
_The older nodded and smiled back, “definitely. Therefore, as your friend, I am telling you to go get a shower. You’re stinking.”_  
_Minhyuk grabbed the pillow and threw it as his face, “that is probably true, but you stink just as much.” Hoseok laughed as he pulled away the pillow. Minhyuk got off the bed and picked his clothes. He had already entered the shower when he opened the door and exited again, walking close to the bedroom._

 _“You did not hate it right?” Minhyuk asked._  
_“I already told you that I did not,” Hoseok replied._  
_“So, can I kiss you again?”_  
_Hoseok looked at him slightly surprised at first. Where they agreeing to become sex friends? Would that be good for their relationship or will one of them fuck it up. He wanted to make a whole analysis of the situation but Minhyuk was still standing beside the bed fully naked awaiting for his reply. Besides, he would have time to think it as much as he wanted. So Hoseok ignored his thoughts, stood up from the bed and pulled his friend in for a kiss._

_Their kiss turned into a make out, which eventually lead to their first round that morning in the shower._

_“He seems fun,” Hyungwon said smiling at Hoseok._  
“He’s loud and energetic,” the patient replied, “but it is true. He is fun to be around.”

 

Minhyuk entered the kitchen only to spot Kihyun sitting there having his break. He sat down opposite to him and smiled. It seemed as if Minhyuk was the only person that made the short nurse uncomfortable.  
“If you’re going the leave it for too long, that beautiful psychologist is going to steal Hoseok away,” Minhyuk said.  
Kihyun rolled his eyes at him, “Hoseok hyung is just a patient for both Hyungwon and me. Please stop speaking nonsense.”  
“I noticed the way you look at him. I also noticed the way Hyungwon looks at him. You where the ones who changed his room right? Whom did he thank? You or Hyungwon?”  
“He thanked both of us,” Kihyun said with a sigh. The blond had a way of riling him up and he could not control it.

Minhyuk was about to continue but the kitchen’s door opened and Hyunwoo got in, making the blond suck down not only his words, but also a breath.  
“You’re here early,” Kihyun commented.  
Hyunwoo sighed, trying to keep his calm and dropped his bag on the table, “I left that bloody house as quickly as I could.”  
“What’s wrong? Did you guys argue again?” Kihyun said, forgetting his lunch and standing up from the table, approaching his friend slowly.  
“We would have, if only she was there!” he said, raising his voice. “Who the hell forgets to tell their husband that they are travelling?”

Minhyuk’s eyes widened at the sound of ‘husband’. Was the hot nurse married already?

“I woke up this morning and she was not there. She did not show up last night either. Then I call her and she tells me that she is in fucking France and she forgot to tell me about it!” Hyunwoo shouted. “That’s it Kihyun. I cannot handle her and her obnoxious attitude any longer. We are going to get this over with as soon as she gets back here.” The older nurse sat down on the chair, rubbing his forehead and sighing deeply.

The kitchen door was opened again and Hyungwon got in. “Keep it down Hyunwoo hyung. Your voice could be heard from the other end of the hallway. You do not want all the patients to know about your life story,” the tall male said.

Minhyuk wanted to stay and know more about Hyunwoo and his wife, but he figured out that it would be rude and after all, he went there to visit Hoseok and not pry on other people. Therefore, he got up and left the kitchen, hurrying off to Hoseok’s new room.

Minhyuk sat down next to his best friend, keeping surprisingly quiet.  
“What’s wrong?” asked Hoseok.  
Minhyuk looked at Hoseok with a confused look on his face, “did you know that Hyunwoo hyung is married?”  
The older frowned at him, “Do you mean my nurse?” Minhyuk nodded. Hoseok looked more surprised than ever, “he does not wear a wedding ring. Besides, he never spoke around any wife around me. What makes you think that?”  
“He was talking with Kihyun about his wife,” and Minhyuk went ahead, telling Hoseok the story about what he just witnessed.  
Minhyuk stayed a while longer that day, just enjoying lying down on Hoseok’s chest with the older playing with his hair. It was not until his phone began ringing that he realized that it was late in the afternoon.  
“My car got fixed finally. It’s been more than a month since it broke down.”  
“You need to buy a new one Minhyuk. That old thing is going to break down for good someday and will leave you in the middle of nowhere. Do you even have any more insurance money?”  
Minhyuk sighed, “I will buy one when my pay check at the end of the month will contain more than a three digit number. I need to change jobs.”  
“We need to sort our lives,” Hoseok said, and Minhyuk just shrugged at him.

Minhyuk pecked Hoseok’s lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow Hoseok,” he said and he left the room.

 _“You are ruining your life Hoseok. You have no stable job, no money, and no girlfriend. You practically have no future,” his mother was crying while a woman was massaging her shoulders. She had just returned from work at three in the morning to find a twenty-two year old Hoseok still awake watching TV and eating a bag of crisps._  
_“I have a job,” he argued back._  
_“Of course you do. You work in a store down the road and waste your weekends dancing, hoping to become something. Life is cruel Hoseok. You cannot just hope that someone will do something for you. In this world you either fuck or are fucked.”_  
_Hoseok had no idea where his mother came up with that, and he frowned at her. “I earn enough money to live, considering that neither you nor dad spend enough time in this house to realize when the fridge has been emptied and there is no food in the cupboards. With that job, I get whatever I want and still eat. Sure, I do not earn millions, but it is enough for me to survive.”_  
_His mother glared at him, stopping the woman (who Hoseok discovered to be her newest secretary) and sitting properly, “do not dare to raise your voice at me Hoseok. Turn that stupid TV off, clean up and go to your room. I deal with enough shit every day, I do not need to come here and listen to your sobbing daily story as well._  
_Hoseok sighed. He really wanted to keep on arguing, spilling everything he had been saving up in his chest for all those years. However, he knew that it would not be worth it. Therefore, he just grabbed the bag of crisps and left the house._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I updated so soon but this chapter was already written so I decided why wait? I am thinking that I will dedicate next chapter to a story about Wonho's past. I am already including a lot of moments between Hoseok and his parents especially. However, his parents are not the only source behind Wonho's situation, so if I do that for the next chapter it will be a sort of closure between Hoseok and his parents.  
> Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter as well. I really love reading your comments so feel free to leave them bellow. Even if you have any suggestions or you would like to request or correct something, do not hesitate (I don't bite...and even if I did...I do not know where you live!)  
> Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It starts with the past and there is only a few lines in the 'present'. Also, I know it's not Hoseok's birthday today haha but it is soon mine so I decided to just go with this.

_Hoseok opened his eyes. The house was quiet, there was no sound, not even coming from outside. He sighed and rolled in his bed. He began contemplating on whether he should just waste the day rolling around and being lazy in bed. After all, even if he did wake up, he had no special plan on how to spend the day. He checked his phone and even though he was not expecting any, he still felt half disappointment on the fact that his parents left no texts. Of course, they would forget their son’s birthday. Hoseok cursed at himself for spending a week fantasising on maybe, just maybe, his parents would remember and surprise him in a way or another. He hoped for a text, maybe a card or a gift, as small as it could get, it would have made the twenty-year-old boy happy. However, without any surprise they forgot._

_Hoseok had not spent a special birthday ever since he got out of primary school. Back then, he used to save all his pocket money starting from three months before. In the morning he would get up early, go pick a cake and pick out some small toys or key chains for himself and his classmates. At school, he would tell them that his mother made him two cakes, one for school and another one for the family party he would be having that night. He would tell them that his father bought those toys so that he would give them to his classmates and they could celebrate together. From such a young age, Hoseok had become excellent at hiding and lying. Then the teacher would as always dedicate the last hour to making a small party. She would take them outside in the yard, play them music and just allow them to run around and play. Then before he leaves, the teacher would give him a card with all the names of the children in the class and a small toy. At least their teachers where all nice enough to think about the children and not only about money._

_After that, birthdays just became a common day for Hoseok. He heard the word from a few people who bothered to check their facebook and some strangers posted their congratulations on his blog. However, that was it. When he met Minhyuk, he did not tell him when his birthday was, simply because it was no special day for him and he did not think that Minhyuk would be interested. Minhyuk found out about his birthday when after a whole year of friendship, he realized that he had not celebrated his birthday with Hoseok. The older had then told him the truth about his past birthdays and how he usually spent them alone. From then on, the two used to skip school on Hoseok’s birthday and just spend running around town and pulling pranks._

_Hoseok got out of bed. It was Friday morning. He had taken a day off from his work and now he was wondering why he did that because he had no plans at all for that day. He went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee and on the way; he figured that, he wanted something sweet, probably a cake or something similar. Then he decided that he could do the item himself so he took out his phone and began searching on how to do cupcakes. Long forgotten the coffee, he took his wallet and exited his house to go buy what was required to make cupcakes._

_Once home, he started right away. It was obviously a mess, flour everywhere, his hands sticky because of the butter and the eggs and everywhere smelled of vanilla, which he was sure that he put in too much of. He had put the ‘cupcakes’ in the oven when the doorbell rang. He clapped his hands to remove some of the dirty and went to open the door._

_“Happy birthday!” a loud, screech accompanied by a hug welcomed Hoseok and he instantly recognized the person as Minhyuk. Behind him stood both Changkyun and Jooheon._   
_“You guys skipped school,” Hoseok said as soon as Minhyuk’s arms left his neck._   
_“So have you. We’re here to celebrate with you hyung,” Jooheon said, “Happy Birthday.”_   
_“What is this smell? And why do you look like you just jumped in a pool of flour?”  Minhyuk asked him._   
_“I...was making cupcakes,” the oldest admitted._   
_Their eyes widened, looking at him puzzled. “Can we taste hyung?” Changkyun asked him._   
_“They are not ready yet.”_   
_Minhyuk finally laughed, “Why on earth are you making cupcakes?”_   
_Hoseok frowned and eventually glared at the younger. He turned his attention onto the youngest two, “would you two like to come in?”_   
_“Hey come on,” Minhyuk said hanging on the elder’s shoulders, “I’m sorry, I would love to try your cupcakes too. Just wonder why would you do it.”_   
_“Because, I wanted something sweet to eat and I wanted to waste some time. Now, are you guys coming in or not?”_

_They all got inside and Hoseok turned on the TV, chatting loudly between them seemed to be much more fun that what the older had planned for his birthday. The cupcakes where not a success, but they found a way to use them by throwing them at each other and pretending that who is hit is dead._

_It was around four in the afternoon when Jooheon and Changkyun informed their departure because they both had to go to their part time jobs. Minhyuk stayed over. He cuddled into Hoseok on the couch, flipping the channels of the TV. He sighed and turned off the TV, “this is boring Hoseok.”_   
_The older smiled, “I know, but what else can we do?”_   
_Minhyuk turned on his knees, smirking and looking down at Hoseok, “I have an idea,” he said leaning down until his lips touched Hoseok’s and the older granted him a kiss._

_The two had turned the kiss into a make out and Minhyuk moved his hand under Hoseok’s shirt but the older quickly pulled away. “No Minhyuk, sorry but I don’t feel like it,” he said, looking sadly at the younger. He hoped that he could understand this._   
_“Would you prefer to go out?” Minhyuk suggested, not much bothered that Hoseok had stopped his plan. The older shook his head, “no, I prefer to stay in and cuddle.”_   
_“It’s four in the afternoon Hoseok. We are not sleeping this early.” Minhyuk climbed off him, “come on,” he said tugging on his hand, “we’re going out and we are going to get wasted. I am not taking no for an answer.”_   
_Hoseok smiled and he complied to the younger’s wish._

_*~*~_

“Happy birthday Hyung,” Kihyun said as soon as he entered the room that morning.  
Hoseok looked at him surprised, “How do you know it’s my birthday?” he asked him. He had never once mentioned the date.  
Kihyun laughed, “we have your records hyung so we know when your birthday is.”  
Hoseok smiled at him, “okay. That makes perfect sense. Thank you.”  
Kihyun sat down on the chair, “hyung, what do you say if we take you out today?”  
Hoseok looked at the nurse even more confused. “I cannot get out remember?” He had no idea what Kihyun had in mind and who ‘we’ where.  
“You can get out if Hyungwon signs you out. We just need him to sign you out for a few hours and we can go where you would like to.”  
“Who’s going?”  
“Well, I just came up with it right now, but I’m sure Hyunwoo hyung and Hyungwon would come as well. And we could wait for your friend or call them to come as well.”  
Hoseok did not know if this was a good idea or not but he liked the fact that Kihyun was thinking about this, “If it will not cause any trouble, it’s okay with me.”  
Kihyun smiled widely, “great. You could call your friends and I will call Hyungwon to come and sign the papers so that we could get you out.”  
“Won’t it affect your shift though?” Hoseok asked, grabbing Kihyun’s hand to stop him from running away.  
“Hyunwoo is off today and my shift ends at one. We could leave then,” Kihyun assured him.

Hoseok smiled back, “okay then. It’s good with me.”  
“Great, Hyungwon and you could plan where to go,” Kihyun said before he rushed out of the room to call all those who where necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will start exactly from where this left off, i.e. Hoseok and Hyungwon planning where to go. I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to leave your comments and if you liked it please do not forget to leave kudos. Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not abducted by aliens. I am still around haha. Just that work is being suffocating these days and I barely manahmge to write a sentence a day.  
> On that note, it is a bit messy but I hope you like it. I will try to make the next chapter better.

Hyungwon sat on the same chair however with a different reason. He looked at the young patient but he was not expecting him to talk about his life. The two had been giving ideas where to spend the afternoon. It was mostly Hyungwon giving ideas and Hoseok agreeing with him.   
“So, we'll first go grab some lunch right? You prefer take away, but where will we eat?” the psychologist asked.  
“At a park, or on a bench somewhere. Or else we can go to the cinema with it.”   
“You cannot take in food in a cinema hyung!”   
Hoseok smirked, “of course you can if you hide it well. Me and Minhyuk used to do it all the time.”

_The two males managed to snuck in burgers and fries in the cinema. It was a shitty movie. There where only three other people in the whole area so it was easier for them to eat. After all, they where not there for the movie._   
_“Minhyuk stop thinking about it,” Hoseok said, “aren’t you glad that it's over? You're finally free from a shit like him.”_   
_“I know he was shit Hoseok, but he was there for me.”_   
_“He was never there for you idiot. He just used you when he wanted. He was ashamed of you Minhyuk. He thought that simply because you are not from his same lifestyle, you are not worthy to be seen with him. Forget him!”_

“Hyung no! We'll get thrown out if we get caught.”  
Hoseok laughed. It was a genuine smile and Hyungwon adored it. “So what if they do? It will be even funnier.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes. After all, Hoseok had the benefit of being the birthday boy that day so the taller male had no permission in arguing.

Kihyun introduced himself in Hoseok's room. “Hyung, have you called your friends? Are they coming? “ the short nurse asked.   
Hoseok nodded at him, “yes I called. They said that they will come by soon.”   
Kihyun nodded, “good. Hyunwoo hyung is here already so as soon as they get here we could leave.” At that moment the door opened once more and Hyunwoo entered, smiling at the patient. “Happy birthday Hoseok.”   
Hoseok smiled softly at him, “ thank you Hyunwoo.” The older nurse had insisted that Hoseok calls him by his name.   
“So, what are the plans?” Hyunwoo asked sitting on Hoseok's bed. Kihyun had left to go change from his uniform.

“We are going against rules,” Hyungwon said, rolling his eyes at the older nurse.  
Hyunwoo's eyes opened widely, “by doing what exactly?” The male was not the type to go against rules.   
Hoseok rolled his eyes as well, “we’re seeking food into a cinema.” The nurse let out a breath of relief, “that’s all?” he asked?”   
Hyungwon widened his eyes at him, “you did that?” Hyunwoo was so strict to rules that it was difficult to imagine him doing something like that. “I am doing that recently. I go to shitty movies just to eat and drink.”   
“Can't you eat and drink on your couch at home?” the psychologist asked.

“It’s a huge difference between eating at home and at a cinema.” Minhyuk had surprised all three of them when he spoke. No one had seen him entering the room. He went up to Hoseok and hugged him tightly. “Happy birthday Hoseok,” he said loudly. He turned his head, his mouth touching the holder’s ear and he talked softly, just enough for Hoseok to hear. “I have a gift for you. I will give it to you later when we're alone.” The blond let his mind wonder with thoughts for a few.   
“Me and Hoseok sneak food into a cinema every time we get bored and feel like eating. No one interrupts you at a cinema,” Minhyuk explained.

Shortly later everyone else joined them. Changkyun had immediately found Hyungwon's height useful as a shelter from Kihyun's glares. Hyunwoo drove to the furthest take away in town and they skipped town for the cinema. It was up to Hyunwoo and Minhyuk to hide the food properly enough to be snuck in without any problem.   
The cinema was pretty much empty aside from a couple and three people who where sitting at the front. The seven males sat at the back. First Hyunwoo, next to him Minhyuk, Hoseok, Hyungwon, Kihyun, Changkyun and last Jooheon. Changkyun was dreading his seat, wondering if he would manage to stay alive by the end of the movie.   
Minhyuk immediately started chatting and it induced a conversation. When the lights went off, they took out the food and ignored the fact that the smell was filling the room.   
The first half of the movie went by smoothly. Each of them munching on food with Minhyuk stealing from both Hoseok and Hyunwoo. The older male said nothing about it and he quickly complied by shifting his hand when the blond’s was reaching for food in his box.   
Changkyun tried to breathe as little as possible in hope that he would not annoy Kihyun next to him while both Hoseok and Hyungwon seemed to become stiff next to each other.   
As soon as the intermission started Minhyuk jumped up, “I’m buying popcorn,” he informed.   
Hyunwoo eyed the blond's body, “where do you store everything? You practically ate all of my fries.”  
“And mine!” Hoseok added.  
Minhyuk shrugged, “so? None of you where eating quickly enough. I thought you did not want it.”   
Hyunwoo rolled his eyes and laughed, “I am buying some popcorn too. I am still hungry because someone ate my food!”  
“I'm coming too,” Jooheon said and at that moment he felt Changkyun's nails dive into his skin. He ignored him. “My stomach will not resist if I see you with popcorn.” He shook the youngest hand off him and sat up and all three males made their way out.

“Is anyone understanding anything from the movie?” Hyungwon asked, stretching his arms.   
“Not really. But it is funny,” Kihyun replied. However, Kihyun was not paying any attention to the movie. Changkyun next to him was wearing some sort of cologne which was strong enough to drive the tiny boy insane and he was focusing all his energy in not getting a hard on by a stupid fragrance. 

Unfortunately for them, the time went by quickly and Hoseok's time out was over and he had to check in back to the hospital. Hyunwoo drove the three guests back to town first before driving the hospital and the rest all got off. Hyungwon walked with Hoseok up to the patient's section and signed his paper.

“Thank you, Hyungwon,” Hoseok said with a shy smile on his lips.   
The psychologist smiled back, “no problem hyung. However, you know that you have to pay be back right?”  
The blond's eyes widened, “sure I guess. How much was everything, I will ask Minhyuk to bring me the money tomorrow.”   
Hyungwon laughed loudly, “I did not mean the money hyung. Starting tomorrow I want you to answer a question each visit.”   
“Hyungwon, you only took me out once. It's going to take more than a date to answer more than one question.” Hoseok caught up and joked along with him.   
“I have my ways hyung,” the psychologist said, “goodnight. I will see you tomorrow.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. If you did, please do not forget to leave kudos and a comment. Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To give up, or to give hope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys....well if anyone is still interested in reading this fic anyway :P - I'm sorry that I haven't update in such a long time but I don't want to bore you with my story just yet - I will explain everything in the end notes. So please enjoy this chapter first and then read later if you're interested :)   
> Thank you to anyone who's still into this fic and is still waiting for more and more updates.

Hoseok had been in that hospital for more than two months. He did not feel like he was doing any progress, and it showed in Hyungwon’s eyes during every session. Even though the patient was supposed to answer a question from the questionnaire every other day, he did not answer a single one, and even though he talked to his psychologist during the sessions, he did not say anything that to him seemed of any importance. One thing was weighing his mind, and it was making him feel even worse every single day that passed.   
Hyungwon sat quietly next to his bed. He had run out of stories to tell Hoseok about himself. He hoped that the patient would say the slightest thing, anything that could help him start a conversation. However, Hoseok did not speak. Hyungwon looked at his watch. It was the tenth time during that ten-minute session and finally the time was over. He looked at his empty notebook with a sad expression and got up with a sigh. 

“I’m sorry hyung, but I must go.”   
Hoseok nodded. He felt embarrassed with himself for keeping Hyungwon there for ten minutes for nothing. He felt like he was wasting the psychiatrist’s time.   
“I...” Hyungwon paused, picking up that same black file, “I will see you on Friday. If you feel like it please answer something on the questionnaire,” however, Hyungwon knew that those words where for nothing and that the patient would not answer even one of the questions. Still, Hoseok nodded again and Hyungwon left the room. 

The psychologist leaned against the closed door and sighed. He felt like this was his downfall. He was unable to help his patient and he felt horrible for it. Hyungwon wondered what he might have been doing wrong, should he be pushier? Should he forcefully demand answers? Those where the ways most psychologists worked, and even though he did not agree with those ways, it felt like they were the ones who successfully helped their patients and not his methods.   
“Hyungwon?” Hyunwoo called him out of his thoughts, and Hyungwon gave him a worried and rather pained look. “I get that it means that you’re not doing much progress.” Hyungwon shook his head and the nurse patted his shoulder with empathy. 

“My superiors keep asking for updates and I don’t have anything. I think I might have to drop this case to someone else hyung, I don’t think I’m right to help him.”   
Hyunwoo looked at him surprised, “I did not think you where one to give up Hyungwon.”   
The psychologist almost laughed at his words, “I do give up on many things hyung. And if I have not beaten myself up every single day I would have given up on Hoseok hyung long ago. I feel like I am not enough to help him get better. And it shows with my lack of results. Besides, my superiors already informed me that if I don’t bring out sufficient progress the next meeting, one of them will take over my case.” 

Hyunwoo became even more worried at that. “Wait, but if your case get’s taken does not that mean that they might fail you?”   
Hyungwon nodded, “yes. Hoseok hyung is my last case before I take my warrant. But if I am unable to make progress in his case I will not be given the warrant and I might have to resit some classes too. Which is for the best most probably because if I’m unable to help him than that means I’m unable to become a psychologist.”   
Hyunwoo sighed, “I’m sorry Hyungwon. You where given one of the hardest cases I have met so far though, so do not beat yourself over it. Hoseok is difficult to get something out of him, so it’s not your fault. I’m sure none of your superiors will get much of a progress if they tried either.” Hyungwon nodded at his words, however he was still desperately hoping he would manage to help his patient. “Coffee?” Hyunwoo asked and Hyungwon gave him a soft smile and a nod and the two made their way to the kitchen. 

 

Minhyuk laid his head on Hoseok’s chest while the older played with his hair. They stayed in silence for a while until Hoseok finally spoke. “Then never visited. For almost three months, they never visited.”   
Minhyuk raised his head from Hoseok’s chest in order to look at him, “are you talking about your parents?” he asked him.   
Hoseok nodded, dropping his now Minhyuk-hair-free hand next to him, “they don’t even care that I’m lying here all day. All I do is stare at wall and play games on my phone all day and they do not give a shit. How do the people working here expect me to talk to them when not even my own parents listen and help? I’m tired Minhyuk, I think I’m broken for good.” 

Minhyuk took his hand and intertwined their fingers, “I’ll buy all the glue that is needed Hoseok. I’ll help to fix you.” 

 

“Please don’t give up on Hoseok,” Minhyuk’s pleading words startled everyone in the room. Even though the words where directed towards Hyungwon, both Kihyun and Hyunwoo stared at him surprised.   
“Um...what do you mean?” Hyungwon asked him, eyes wide open.

“I heard you talking outside Hoseok’s room. I will help you, I can help you. But please do not give up on Hoseok. I know he is difficult, but he has been keeping secrets and everything to himself since he was young. I do not know everything about him, but the only way I managed to learn some of the things about him was after years of being friends. I will tell you anything and everything you need and I know about Hoseok, but please do not give up on him.” Minhyuk stopped but only for a second to breathe, “The night of his birthday Hoseok was the happiest I’ve ever seen him since a long time and that was all thanks to all of you. That is why, you cannot help Hoseok by yourself, but we need to be together, all of us. So please don’t give up on him.” 

All three males were surprised to see tears form in Minhyuk’s eyes. It was unusual to see the male like that and it somehow triggered that little spark they all had towards Hoseok into combusting and becoming a big bright flame.   
“I didn’t and still do not want to give up on Hoseok hyung,” Hyungwon replied, “but if you have a plan than I am more than happy to listen to you.”  
Minhyuk smiled softly and nodded, “then, why don’t I start telling you what I know of Hoseok?”   
Hyungwon shook his head and stood up, “not here Minhyuk. I do not want someone to walk in and listen to our conversations. And I do not want Hoseok to not know about this either. We will go to Hoseok’s room and you will tell me there. Maybe if you start, and with you around, Hoseok will manage to speak and tell me his side of things as well.”   
Minhyuk was slightly confused as to why Hyungwon wanted Hoseok to know that he was telling him everything. But, he was the psychologist, so he must have known his ways better. 

He walked behind Hyungwon and the two entered Hoseok’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as per promised; I haven't updated anything in this fic since last July and there where reasons for that.   
> The first, very simple reason is that I started my last year of this course I am doing, it's hectic, crazy, too much and it's making me a mess. So it's been almost impossible to write anything. And I didn't want to post anything that was rushed or without feeling.  
> Second - please note before reading that this part is somewhat personal...I don't know how long it will be since I still do not know how to explain everything so if you're not interested just take the above at the only reason.   
> \- Anyway, unlike any of you know, Hoseok is built on my personal problems. Many of what you read of Hoseok's feelings, fears and past are very much related to what I went through myself. For a part of it that means that this fic triggers me even when I'm in a good state. However, unlike Hoseok I never got help, I never had friends like Minhyuk and I never had the love that Hoseok is being currently given in my fic. So, while writing this I start crying especially when Minhyuk comes on because I somehow feel jealous (yes - jealous of my own character in a fic) of the friendship and love Minhyuk gives to Hoseok. I wished I had someone like that in my life who would at least just lay down next to me. For me personally that would be enough. So while writing this fic it takes me to my bad state and that is why I hadn't updated in a long time. I have been in such a bad state lately that I felt that it would only get worse if I wrote this.   
> I am still in a bad state, and I don't know if I will ever get better, but somehow I reread this fic today and I felt that even if I cannot get better, I must make the main character over here get better themselves in hope that the same will happen to me someday. I use Hoseok as a medium to share my feelings and his life is becoming like my personal diary.   
> When I started writing this I began hoping that through it I will be able to find out a cure for myself but while writing I realized that my character was having things which I didn't have so even if Hoseok did get better eventually...I still wouldn't have found a way to help myself.  
> Even though it hurts me while writing some of the scenes here and even though his past triggers me, I have now put my head to it that I will finish this story, I will cure Hoseok and I will make him happy.   
> I cannot assure you that updates will be regular or frequent, but please if anyone of you is still interested in the story and is still hoping for a happy ending please stay around. Hoseok will be happy. 
> 
> Sorry for writing so long - it probably got even longer than the chapter itself. I will try to put up the next chapter soon but as I said, I can't promise that.   
> Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it and please feel free to comment and leave kudos.   
> Thanks a lot :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not proofread - sorry about that but writing these chapters feel like I'm in a trans! I will proofread the errors tomorrow morning. I hope you like it.

_“Minhyuk,” the male lying next to him naked called out in a rather pained voice and the blond hummed at him to show him his attention, “what is happy?”_  
_The blond was caught by surprise and as he looked at Hoseok next to him, he noticed tears forming in his eyes. Minhyuk bit his lip before he replied, “I don’t know.” Hoseok did not seem satisfied with that answer and it showed in his face. “I don’t think anyone knows how to explain happiness. It’s a question for philosophers not me,” Minhyuk continued._  
_Hoseok never once shifted his gaze from the ceiling. “Humans are supposed to feel happiness. How come we cannot explain it?”_  
_The blond gave a soft sigh before turning on his side to look at the older next to him. “I think some of the best feelings are impossible to explain. Just like love for example, no one can truly explain what love is. And the same goes for happiness.”_  
_“But if we’re supposed to be happy, how come we cannot explain what we’re supposed to feel?”_  
_Minhyuk gave him a saddened look, “like I said, I’m not a philosopher, that is not the question for me.”_  
_Hoseok’s chest rose as he inhaled a deep breath, before slowly letting it out hoping that it will calm him down._  
_“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk spoke, “I wish I had an answer.”_  
_Hoseok gave a week smile to the ceiling, “don’t worry about it.”_

 

Minhyuk could not read whether Hoseok was angry or not. He had a calm face, looking down at his thighs with the four other males looking at him.  
“Are we waiting for someone else?” Hyungwon asked.  
Minhyuk shook his head, “I did not call Jooheon and Changkyun. I did not think that they would know much.”  
Hyungwon nodded before he turned his eyes back on Hoseok, “he’s here to help you. I know you find it difficult to speak so maybe if he starts, you can continue. If you feel uncomfortable with something he will say stop him and neither me nor anyone else will ask questions about it.”  
Hoseok barely nodded at that.

After a while of silence, Minhyuk realized that it was his turn to start telling the story. For once in his life, Minhyuk felt awkward to start a conversation. “Um, well me and Hoseok have been friends for a long while, ever since middle school,” Minhyuk started, hoping that this would give a little introduction to his story. “We met once on one of the benches in our school during a free mutual lesson. He was eating by himself on the bench and since I had no one to spend, the free with I went and talked to him. I guess you could say I annoyed him like that for almost month before it actually became natural for both of us to automatically sit next to each other during frees and break. Hoseok is older than me so we had different classes, but I preferred staying with him than with the rest of my class.”

Minhyuk stopped to look at Hoseok, who was still avoiding any eye contact, but his face remained calm. Then his eyes turned to Kihyun, “as you know,” he said directed to the shorter male, “me and Hoseok are not just friends, but we don’t have a lovers-type of relationship either. We’re sort of like sex friends, but we’re not there only for sex, so I don’t really know how you explain our relationship.” At those words, Hoseok’s eyes turned to look at Hyungwon who in turn was looking back at him surprised. The psychologist had no idea that his patient was in any sort of relationship aside from friendship.

“Hoseok never really talked much about himself or his problems, but after we started having sex he would talk to me more especially after we’re done. And if I wasn’t so high or so self-centred I guess I would have figured that something was wrong long ago.”

_Minhyuk saw the scratch on Hoseok’s shoulder after both of them lied down breathless. “Ey!” the blond said to grab the male’s attention, “you’re not cheating on me are you? I don’t have long nail so I did not do this.”_   
_Hoseok laughed before he looked at where Minhyuk was pointing, only for his laughter to disappear quickly._   
_“Do not worry. I am only yours. I got that scratch from home,” and that in itself was something tough for Hoseok to admit._   
_Minhyuk laughed, “ah do not worry about me. Go find yourself a lover.” Hoseok laughed again, “Lee Minhyuk, you are full of contradictions.”_

_The two laughed before Minhyuk cuddled into Hoseok’s chest and the older wrapped his arms around the blond’s naked body and the two stayed in silence, slowly drifting to sleep._   
_“So how did you get that scratch?” Minhyuk asked him after yawning loudly._   
_“My mum,” Hoseok admitted, “she hit me because she didn’t like that she paid the doctor for me two days ago.” Minhyuk wished to reply but he was too sleepy to even react._

_~_

_“Hyung where are your parents?” Changkyun asked as they stepped into Hoseok’s house._  
_Hoseok chucked at his words, “my parents are barely ever home Kyunie.”_  
 _“Oh but that’s cool hyung! My parents barely let me fart without wanting to know why I did so. I’d rather have them off my back,” Changkyun replied._  
 _“Just because they’re not here does not mean that they don’t annoy me Kyunie. It’s actually more annoying because they expect more things to be done.” Changkyun frowned slightly, not completely comprehending Hoseok’s words, but before anyone could ask any more questions Minhyuk busted in, “are we going to order that pizza or what? I’m hungry and I’m going to order for myself.”_

_Jooheon and Changkyun said their last goodbye before they left Hoseok’s house. Minhyuk smirked at the knowledge of him and Hoseok being alone and he quickly turned to his side and started kissing up Hoseok’s neck._   
_Hoseok smiled at the needy boy next to him, “I could sense you where horny the whole movie Minhyuk. Couldn’t you at least calm down while the other two are here?”_   
_“I didn’t do anything while they were here. Besides, I told you about my dream and you just had to make things worse by inviting them over to watch that bloody movie.”_

_Hoseok laughed and he got up off the couch leaving a pouting Minhyuk behind. He reached out his hand for his friend, “come on, let’s go to my room.” Minhyuk smirked, he reached Hoseok’s hand and jumped up off the couch following him._

_Once in the bedroom, Minhyuk straddled Hoseok and began unbuttoning his shirt while Hoseok was busy trying to capture Minhyuk’s lips in his own. Minhyuk smiled as he complied with the older and kissed him back, while his hands felt up and down Hoseok’s chest._   
_“You’re getting more and more muscular each time I see you naked,” Minhyuk commented once Hoseok was satisfied with the red colour he left on his lips._   
_“Do you hate it?” Hoseok asked, knowing perfectly well that it was not the case._   
_“Nope, not at all. I love it actually.”_

_The two went back to making out, this time Minhyuk began gridding down against Hoseok, soft moans filling the room from both males._  
 _They heard the front door close and the younger pulled away slightly scared. “Who’s that?” he asked in a hushed tone._  
 _However, that did not seem to startle Hoseok as he kept trying to pull Minhyuk closer, “it’s my mother, don’t worry about it.”_  
 _“Are you sure? She won’t come check on you right?” Minhyuk asked him._  
 _“Why should she? Besides, good for her if she does. Hopefully she’ll stop asking why I don’t have a girlfriend yet and figure the reason why herself.”_  
 _Minhyuk laughed as he was suddenly flipped over, finding himself on the bed with Hoseok on top this time. “You talk as if you hate your mother,” Minhyuk said while Hoseok tried to leave marks on the younger’s neck._  
_“I do hate my mother, I hate my whole family Minhyuk. They’re the reason I’m so broken.”_

While Minhyuk was talking, Hyungwon tried his best to avoid either looking jealous or even looking at Hoseok. He did not know why he could not control it, but his jealousy was starting to erupt within him and he kept telling himself that Hoseok was nothing more than a patient.  
“Since then, whenever Hoseok said anything it showed me that the reason he was so sad at times was because of his family. His parents pretended to be saints who raised their son as an angel but he turned into a demon instead.”

“Sorry to jump into something else but I cannot help to ask,” Hyunwoo spoke from the corner he was standing in. All the males looked at him but he kept eye contact with Minhyuk, “if you two where so comfortable with your sexual relationship and your friendship did not get effected, why didn’t you get together?”  
Minhyuk shook his head, “we prefer friendship over anything else. Besides, both me and Hoseok like someone else.” At that everyone, including Hoseok widened their eyes at Minhyuk. Hyungwon quickly gazed at Hoseok before turning his eyes quickly back to Minhyuk who had a soft smile on his lips.  
“I think we should leave Hoseok hyung to rest a bit now anyway, I think Minhyuk said enough for today, and enough to start working on.” Kihyun turned to look at Hyungwon, “this is good enough for now right Hyungwon?”  
The psychologist nodded, “I have something to start with,” he turned to look at Hoseok, “rest for today hyung. We can continue talking during my next session. If you prefer to have Minhyuk here is fine by me.” He gave Hoseok a weak smile before encouraging everyone to leave.

Once outside the room Minhyuk turned to look at them, “it’s his parents who made him like this. Moreover, he’s even worse because he does not know whether he should just let go of them or not. Parents are always parents after all.”  Minhyuk looked at Hyungwon, stepping closer to him, “I told you what I know but I am no doctor. It’s your turn to fix him. Promise me that you will help him get better.”  
Hyungwon stared back at Minhyuk, “I promise that I will do my best. However, the interest you show in hyung does not seem to be solemnly friendly if I dare say. I think you two should establish the meaning behind your relationship because on and off will only hurt him more.”  
Minhyuk smirked in a way that Hyungwon did not particularly like. “Hoseok was the one who set the rules and boundaries between us so I can assure you that our sexual relationship will not hurt him. Besides, I’m not interested in dating someone who is interested in someone else while I’m into someone else as well. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to include more of the actual accident and will try to focus more on the Hyungwonho relationship in the next chapter.  
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos. Thank you for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I haven't forgotten about this fic even though it's been months since I updated. It's just that it has been crazy and hectic with finishing school and trying to find jobs so far....still no job but I'm getting closer to one after the school figured they made a mistake in my result and I had actually passed!! Anyway...no more talking...please enjoy. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Edit: Crap I forgot to add the warning!!!   
> Warning: Physical Abuse & Neglect

“Your parents never sign the papers,” Hyungwon jumped into the ‘parent’ talk rather quickly and he hoped it did not scare Hoseok off.  
“My parents almost never visit. When they do they sit down for five minutes looking through their business phone or making calls and then leave after asking if I’m eating,” he replied. Talking about others seemed to be pretty easy for him. However, when it came to talk about him it felt like a lump in his chest that prevented him from talking and forced him to cry. He hated it. Hoseok hated that he was unable to speak about what he wanted or what he felt. He wished people where able to read his mind because it was the only place that knew everything about him.  
“Do you hate them?” the physiciatrist asked. “I understand that hate is a strong word and I will understand if you say that you do.” He tried to reassure him so many times those feelings where good and normal to posses.  
Hoseok took a deep breath, “sometimes I feel like I do. Especially at times when they embarrass me in front of people who I have to spend time with...”

 _“Seriously Hoseok, it’s your fucking result paper. Just tell them you need it to be sent right away!” his father shouted in the phone. A whole month after receiving his results, which stated that he failed one of the subjects, Hoseok received a phone call from the directorate office of the school. The course coordinator had informed him that there had been a mistake in his result and he had in fact passed all the exams and entitled for the certificate and graduation. If it were a normal day Hoseok would have been extremely happy with the call (especially since both his parents where bitching so hard against him failing and having to repeat the year). However, the call came in exactly a day after Hoseok had been refused from a job for not having that damned certificate! At that moment, he only wanted to scream at the director, but since he was so fucking timid all the time, he just agreed and even apologized for a mistake he did not make._  
_The bigger problem was now that his family was constantly in his face with wanting the proper result paper in order for him to get a ‘fucking job and a fucking life – you’re not going to stay in your room for life thinking that I will pay for everything you want’ – mind you, his parents where practically only paying for the light and water bills since Hoseok buys everything he needs including food._  
_“Dad I already called her last Monday and she said that the result paper has been said by post,” he told him. Hoseok hated when his parents meddled in his things. They ignore him most of the time while embarrass him the rest and he does not like that._  
_“If the letter had to grow legs itself and walk from the post office to our house it would still have arrived. Go there or do something!” his dad hangs up and Hoseok almost felt relieved at that. Only to hear his phone ringing again just seconds later with his dad’s number on the screen. He didn’t even give time for Hoseok to greet him._  
_“Send me the phone number of the school and I will take care of this myself. I will hold them responsible for making you loose that job.” Hoseok wanted to argue that he will go there himself, however the words just could not leave his mouth and he just agreed with his father. “Send it to me right away. Because apparently you are good for nothing and if I don’t do something myself you won’t.” Hoseok sighed softly – soft enough for his father not to hear him – he hated arguing and the school assured him that they sent it over. But with his father’s order he sent the number through a text message and went t hide in his bed hoping that the embarrassment would kill him before anyone from his school does._

“…maybe they mean well to some point. But if that is the case then maybe they should learn on how to phrase their words.” Hoseok explained the situation slowly to Hyungwon, constantly avoiding eye contact.  
“Do you feel like they are the reason as to why you are here today?” Hoseok looked up at him this time. He was not expecting such a direct question from a phsyciatrist. He was used to Hyungwon sugar coating his sentences and it came as a surprise to him as to how Hyungwon would just dump it on him. “Be honest hyung please. In order to solve the problem we need to learn what has caused it first. I know it must be hard to admit it because they are your family, but if they made you feel this way it doesn’t matter why or how, or if you’re right to feel that way or not. You just have to admit it.”  
Hoseok stayed quiet for a few, looking down at his hands and biting on his lips. It took him a while but eventually he nodded softly, “yes. Besides Minhyuk, Jooheon and Changkyun I only know them. And this has started long before I met any of m friends. So I do believe it’s because of them.” Saying that felt like pulling a house out of its roots, but at the same time it seemed as if a crack was finally on the wall.  
Hyungwon smiled at him gently, the soft nice look that Hoseok was getting used to. “You’re doing great hyung. It’s very good progress to admit what’s causing the problem. It was hard to do so since they are your family and they influence you the most. But remember hyung, you do not have to be your dad, or your mum. You know the things they did wrong, what they did wrong and how. Now it’s up to you to learn and not do the same to others around you.” Hyungwon dropped his file on Hoseok’s side desk and turned to look closer at his patient. He placed his hand’s on Hoseok’s and the older lifted his eyes and made contact with the other man. “Don’t shut me out hyung. I’m here to help you. I swear I will never judge you or make fun of you. It may be difficult for you to believe that since your mind is set up that way. But remember this, I see tens of patients each week and if I start to make fun of all my patients it will take me way too much time.” Hyungwon’s voice was so soft, it almost felt like he was whispering to Hoseok in hope that no one would hear him. Hoseok smiled, and this time Hyungwon was sure that he was finally seeing the first honest and genuine smile on the patient’s lips.

Hyungwon’s hand tightened of Hoseok’s and his gave him small rubs with his thumb on the palm of his hand. The eye contact remained at it felt as if it intensified. Hoseok felt the air thicken around him and his breathing got stronger and less regular.  
However, a cough at the door caused both of them to jump and Hoseok looked to see Kihyun at the door with his food tray, “Hyung your food arrived.” He could see the deadly gaze he was giving Hyungwon and the patient hoped that he did not cause any trouble to the doctor.  
“I will see you in two days hyung,” Hyungwon said, pushing his file in the bag and getting up quickly, “same time as usual.” Hoseok nodded and while the doctor stepped away, Kihyun placed the food tray on his desk and gave him a soft smile.  
“Enjoy hyung,” and immediately the shorter stepped out.

 

Once outside, Kihyun grabbed Hyungwon from his arm and dragged him to the nurses’ rest room. “What the hell?” Kihyun said and he saw Hyungwon turn into a brighter shade of red than he originally was.  
“It was not what you think. We were just talking,” the taller tried to explain himself.  
“Hyungwon! You where literally an inch away and one second afar from starting to make out. He’s your patient and even though he’s really handsome doesn’t mean you can make out with him. We have a no-personal-relationship-with-patients protocol! What if the staff nurse or worse your tutor went in and saw you like that?” Kihyun had to restrain himself from shouting.  
Hyungwon shook his head, “I’m telling you. We where just talking. I only took his hand for a moment. I know about the protocol Kihyun so rest assured that I will not break it.”  
“I’m not sure about that anymore now.” Kihyun gave him a judgmental look and then stepped out of the room, leaving Hyungwon alone who was still trying to calm down.

 

“Hoseok, Hoseok!” someone was shaking him awake in his sleep and the moment he opened his eyes the patient was thankful to see the friendly yet worried look of his nurse Hyunwoo in front of him. “Are you okay? We heard you shout from the reception! What happened?”  
Hoseok sat up and shook his head, “I’m fine. It was just a bad dream hyung. Sorry for worrying you.”  
“It’s my job to worry about my patients. What was the dream about? Do you want to tell me?” Hyunwoo asked, already sitting down in Hyungwon’s usual chair. Hoseok shook his head. It was a blast from his past and he did not want to talk to about it.  
Hyunwoo frowned slightly at him, “hasn’t Hyungwon told you that you should always talk about what’s going in your mind? I can listen too you know. It’s my job to make sure you are getting better and if sitting here and listening to your cry will help you than I will do so.”  
Hoseok looked up at him. Initially he used to feel slightly intimidated by the older’s nurse gaze since he came off as a strong character. However, looking at him right there made a lot of difference. For some reason Hyunwoo looked like an overly large teddy bear that is ten feet bigger than the child, but that makes him the best at hugs and cuddles.  And somehow Hoseok found himself talking without realizing.

_“Hoseok hurry the hell up or you will be late for your first day!” he heard his mother shout from downstairs, probably while he was finishing her make up or retouching her hair. He also heard the clicking of her heals against the tiles of the bathroom. She did not worry about him arriving late, she worried about the people recognizing him as her son and commenting on how late he was. After all, it was middle’s school entrance ceremony. And Hoseok had to go there by bus. “Hurry up!” she shouted again._

_Hoseok took off his shirt and his bruised arms and back showed up. The marks had turned purple and even though they hurt, the pain in his chest hurt much more. The night before Hoseok’s father came home in a rather bad mood. It seemed to rile him up more when he found Hoseok playing around in the backyard instead of cleaning the dished like his mother had instructed him to. So Hoseok’s father did what any loving and caring father would do. He took of his belt and randomly began swinging it and hitting Hoseok with it, not caring on where it lands. After taking out his frustration on his son, he grabbed him from his arm, dragged him inside and after pushing him against the kitchen counter he forced Hoseok to clean the whole kitchen, including the plate that was dropped on his floor when Hoseok’s head hit the table. That night he went to bed late and even though he was tired the wounds made it almost impossible for him to sleep due to the pain._

_In the morning he found his long sleeved shirt hung up for him to wear, probably his mother instructed her current secretary for to hang it there and Hoseok knew that she did so in order for him to hide the bruises. Thankfully, there were no bruises on his face at least. He would have had to come up with some stupid excuse about how he fell the stairs or ran into a pole. Hoseok dressed up quickly, picked his bag and went downstairs, finding his mother by the door. “Hurry up, finish up and leave. Don’t be late. You need to find a bus home tonight. Both me and your father are working late. Make sure to come straight home after school. You’re still grounded from yesterday,” she said and she left after slamming the door behind him.  
“Bye mum have a nice day too,” Hoseok said ironically while walking to the kitchen. Obviously, as per usual there was no breakfast prepared, and when he opened the fridge there was no lunch for him either. Instead he found some money on the table and he guessed that his daily meals where to be covered by that. He picked up the money and with a long sigh he hurried out of the house. _

“Was the beating regular?” Hyunwoo asked looking both horrified and worried about what Hoseok had just told him. He already felt anger towards the patient’s parents but now he absolutely despised them.  
“Up until I graduated middle school,” Hoseok said, “it was more regular during school days since they would get mad if I don’t do well in something. But he stopped as soon as I got to high school.”  
Hyunwoo sighed softly, “hyung, if you feel like your parents are being a danger to you and you don’t want them here tell me. I will take care of it and put your on a ‘signed visits’ schedule with only certain people allowed to come in. I don’t know how you never reposted this but that is physical abuse. Your parents can go to jail due to it.”  
Hoseok gave him a soft and ironic laugh, “firstly, my parents would have found a way out, and that would have made them even more mad at me and worsen my situation. Another, if they did end up in jail I would have ended up in foster care or for adoption. And who would want a broken 15 year old as a son?”  
“It’s not your fault that you are broken. And that’s why you are here, so that we will fix you and you will get out from here as a healthy 24 year old man ready for the future.”

Hoseok smiled once again that day. Once Hyunwoo closed the door he felt that he could close his eyes and sleep without worrying too much about the dreams that he might get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that and I also hope that it won't take so long until the next update. Please feel free to leave your comments bellow. Thank you.  
> Edit: Also, don't get Kihyun wrong here....he's not arguing with Hyungwon because he's jealous...but because Kihyun is a strict follow-the-rules nurse and he doesn't want Hyungwon to get into trouble :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead I swear (almost at least) The last I posted this fic was a week before I started my job and today is the last day of my job for the summer holidays (I work in a school). I was drowned with work and I barely managed to write one sentence per week. I am extremly sorry to anyone who kept tabs on this fic for waiting for so long. I am trying to get back to it in hope to end it soon. I do not wish to drag on for much longer just in case my work interferes with it again. Anyway, here's chapter 11...with some advancement in the hyungwonho relationship.

Hyungwon stepped into Hoseok’s room but the older patient was nowhere to be seen. It confused him even further especially when Kihyun, the ward nurse who was supposed to check on Hoseok at that time was not there either. He approached one of the other nurses to ask where his patient was.  
“Your superior was here earlier and he visited Hoseok. He allowed him some time outside in the hospital yards as long as he is supervised so I’m guessing that’s where both him and Kihyun are.” Hyungwon nodded and took the path outside. He figured that some outside time and fresh air would do good for his patient but he was worried as to why his superior went to visit Hoseok himself. Afterall, it seemed like there was a slight progress in Hoseok’s case and his superior was not bothering him about it for a while.  
Hyungwon stopped his tracks when he saw Hoseok and Kihyun sitting on a bench in the children’s playground area with Hoseok giving the nurse a big wide smile. The psychologist was extremely curious as to what he could have told him that made him smile like that. He coughed softly to catch their attention as soon as he got close to them. Both males looked up rather surprised but almost right away Kihyun stood up.  
“Oh Hyungwon, sorry I didn't realize that it was time already. Your superior allowed Hoseok-hyung time outside,” Kihyun tried to explain but Hyungwon cut him off.  
“I know, the nurse told me about it. It’s nice that you brought him out,” the tallest said. Kihyun nodded before looking briefly at the patient, “shall we go in?”  
“We can stay here if Hoseok-hyung prefers it this way. It’s not a problem for me,” the psychologist said. Hoseok nodded, “it’s actually nice out here so I don’t mind staying longer.” Kihyun nodded at both of them and left the place.  
Hyungwon didn’t know he was maintaining a serious face until he sat down and actually smiled at Hoseok. “How are you hyung?”  
Hoseok gave him a soft smile, “it’s been a peaceful two days since we last talked.” That smile was not an honest one but Hyungwon felt that his words were.  
“It’s good to see you out of bed. I’m glad you were allowed outside. It will help you recover much faster if you spend time out of that room.”  
“You sound like my mother when you say ‘out of that room’.” Hyungwon smiled to him. He had a set of questions planned for Hoseok that day, however seeing how calm the older man looked out there he did not want to bother him with his words. The psychologist went quiet, looking at his patient intensely as if he was studying his face. Hoseok blushed a little at that, “do I have something on my face?” he asked, hoping it would cut the intensity between them.  
Hyungwon looked away, “no. You just look really relax today. I do not want to bother your calmness with my usual questions.”  
After a moment of silence Hyungwon looked at his patient again and noticed that Hoseok had a longing look towards the empty swings just a few away from them. He wondered whether the older will be offended by his words but he went ahead and said them. “Do you want to swing hyung?”  
Hoseok looked at him puzzled and a blush crept on his cheeks, “w-what?”  
Hyungwon smiled at that response. He had managed to read his patient’s face and realize what he wanted. He grabbed Hoseok’s wrist and got up, “let’s go swing.”  
“Aren’t the swings for kids?” Hoseok asked but he followed his doctor there and sat down on one of them without much arguments.  
“So? There is no one here after all.” Hyungwon sat on a swing again and began swinging. It slowly encouraged Hoseok to do the same and in a matter of seconds the two were like overly grown children playing on the swings for the first time in their lives.  
“I rarely went to the swings when I was younger. My parents never took me there, and it got worse when my mother began working again.”  
“Didn’t your mother always work?” Hyungwon asked.  
Hoseok shook his head but he was not sure that the doctor could see that, “no. She stopped when she was pregnant with me and returned when I turned seven. My father blamed me about it, saying that ever since I was born my mother stopped taking her of herself.”  
“While I d believe that taking care of one self is important, taking care of your children is a priority. Your mother chose you instead of her and her carrier. Your father should have been proud instead of blaming you for it.” Hyungwon stopped swinging, “it was not your fault. It was your mother’s choice.”  
“I was not my mother’s choice for a long time after that however. Her side of the family always came close, even relatives like my cousins or my cousin’s children came before me. She would go help them and leave me alone. Sometimes she would even refuse to help me with something basic to go visit them.”  
Hyungwon reach out to him, moving his swing close and placed his hand on Hoseok’s knee, “that is why you should move forward. Detach yourself from people who do not care and find those who will. Minhyuk is a great friend. I know it might take time but you can find others like Minhyuk as well.”  
Hoseok breathed deeply. Sometimes he would forget that Hyungwon was his doctor. He felt close to him as if he was more than just that. Hyungwon noticed the deep look on the older’s face and the two remained staring into each other’s eyes. Leaning forward towards his patient, their foreheads where almost touching. Te psychiatrist completely forgot their situation when his lips touched Hoseok and it was as if a lot of pressure was suddenly released from him. It was just a touch of the lips, but Hoseok’s heart was so happy and full that it felt as if this is the moment he had been living for all his life.  
It was as if something hit Hyungwon in the back and realisation hit him. He was pulling backwards but Hoseok’s hand quickly grabbed his neck and pulled him in. Their kiss deepend, Hoseok was deeping it slowly, sucking on his doctor’s lips. At first Hyungwon was unsure but then he just let go and the two began making out on the swings in the middle of the hospital’s playground. When the two pulled away they kept their foreheads touching and their eyes closed.  
“Don’t leave me please,” Hoseok said softly. Hyungwon opened his eyes quickly and saw a tear falling from his eye. “I know I’m a horrible patient, I am a terrible person, I’m too broken for anyone. But I feel so good and calm when you are around. So please, don’t leave me.”  
Hyungwon knew that this is not correct. He was a psychiatrist, he was supposed to make Hoseok feel that way. He wondered whether Hoseok was confusing his calm sense of state with love. “Hyung, I do not want to rush you into anything. I do not want you to get hurt because you think you feel something for me.”  
“I know I may be too broken for you Hyungwon. But please, at least until I remain in this hospital. I beg you. You make me feel more whole and more fixed than I have ever felt.”  
The doctor remembered the relationship that the older had with his friend and it immediately stung him. He took Hoseok’s chin and caused him to open his eyes and look up. “I do not want the same relationship with you that you have with Minhyuk. If this leads to any sort of relationship besides doctor and patient, as secretive as it has to be because of my work, I will not have a sexual relationship with you. I will be putting my job on the line but I won’t do it for just sex. I want more than just your body Hoseok. Besides, a sexual relationship will only hurt you. I want to fix you.”  
Hoseok immediately jumped on the doctor and began making out with him again. “I want you as a whole Hyungwon. I will end the sex with Minhyuk and I will do whatever you want me to. So please just hold me and don’t leave me.” Hyungwon kissed him back. He knew this was a risky step. He knew that if their relationship wouldn’t work out he would be the one throwing Hoseok back to his original state. But if he was what Hoseok needed, what Hoseok wanted, he wanted him just as much and he was willing to risk it for him.  
“Remember, we have to keep it a secret, at least until you leave the hospital.”  
Hoseok smiled, “then the doctor better help me get out of here as soon as possible.” 

Hyungwon took Hoseok back to his room. He pecked his lips when he made sure the door was closed. “I’ll come by soon,” he told him.  
Hoseok grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving, “don’t take too long.” And after Hyungwon smiled and nodded the patient let go of his hand and let him leave.  
Hyungwon took a deep breath once he was out of the room and with a smile on his face he went to the kitchen. However, his smile soon fell as soon as he was greeted with a rather harsh look coming from Kihyun. It was a look of knowing and Hyungwon knew that the shorter had seen what had happened outside.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you're enjoying this. Please do not forget to leave kudos if you liked it. Also, any comments, suggestions or corrections are highly accepted and welcome in the comments section. Thank you for reading.


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